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But while methadone prescribing mitigated the worst outrages of heroin dependency, it was an acute response to a chronic condition. And in addressing one problem, it created another. Albert Einstein said that no problem can be resolved at the same level of consciousness with which is created.
I went up to Sheffield on Saturday to attend the SMART Recovery meeting and meet the facilitators. I work in mutual aid as part of my day job but it never ceases to amaze me how brave the people who come and share are.
There has been plenty of talk recently about methadone and treatment “working”. I know for some people MMT is a valuable resource but I really feel we should tell people that truth – it only works for a small minority.
Cannabis, cocaine and amphetamines were my main drugs of choice and I’d pop E’s and trips like smarties when I was out clubbing with my mates. But as far as I was concerned I didn’t have a drug problem. I was OK floating round in my own little bubble, it was just other people had a problem with me doing drugs.
I was diagnosed with PTSD, or the invisible wound. I unknowingly had this condition when I left the forces. As I got into recovery, and time passed, the images, sounds, faces, smells and noises passed. I’m not going to blog to much detail except my best buddy was killed by the IRA. Also other issues.
It was a true eclectic mix and brought together current service user groups from around the North West, recovering members of various communities/philosophies/models, commissioners, service managers, professionals in substance misuse, families and children and even just community supporters of the recovery agenda!
Well, although I don’t have much news and this won’t be my usual drama performance which I know you all enjoy so much, I am blogging anyway just to remain sober. I know being such a recluse is part of what drove me to relapse the last time, so I am making more of an effort to be out in the community again.
That the NTA has changed its stance is pretty clear. You only have to rewind a year or so and we were seeing a recovery-lite NTA who didn’t seem to understand what all the fuss was about recovery. Political change has focused the mind it seems. I’m not for time limited treatment.
Sunday evening and my usual injection. Feel like it’s been months. Easy as pie but that’s just the actual injection. I come round with a cotton mouth and unstick myself from the soaked sheets. I ponder on the nightmare I had and how weak I feel as I lumber to the toilet.
Bloody family, they can be your biggest danger, there actions and associates can effect your future and even your recovery, for surely you have a duty to protect your family especially your children. My daughter tried for me not to find out about a certain mess that’s unfolded involving her fool of an ex-boyfriend and some illegal activities.
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