Membersteve.k.

Word of Mouth

“In my view, there isn’t the slightest objection to groups who wish to remain strictly anonymous, or to people who think they would not like there membership in AA known at all. That is there business, and this is a very natural reaction.”

“However,most people find that anonymity to this degree is not necessary, or even desirable. Once one is fairly sober, and sure of this, there seems no reason for talking about AA membership in the right places. This has a tendency to bring in other people.”

“Word of mouth is one of our most important communications. So we should criticise neither the the people who wish to remain silent, nor even the people who wish to talk to much about belonging to AA, provided they do not wish to do so at the public level and thus compromise our whole Society.”

Page 120 ‘As Bill Sees It’. This says it all for me.

STEVE.K.

3 comments - First published on: 04/09/2010

Accepting Change

When I joined Alcoholics Anonymous in the early 1980s, anonymity was paramount. It was drummed into you at meetings – always maintain your anonymity. I still do. I only break mine to this day if it will be a benefit to someone else.

Will my blogs on this site help anyone else? Who knows. I’m a great believer in word of mouth. This is a good way to get the message across to those who still suffer.

In my day AA was so anonymous I never knew of its existence. It was through word of mouth I got the message and got my recovery. Almost thirty years have passed for me. That’s a very long time in recovery. And I’ve seen a lot of things change.

I’m no bleeding deacon or a militant old timer. I’ve tried move on in life and accept the changes and the ideals others have about anonymity.

My own group has several young people starting out on their recovery journey. I’m a good friend to them all and respect their outlook on anonymity and the recovery programme. We share a great unity in my own group. The old adage ‘it’s quality not quantity’ works well in our case – a small town AA meeting once a week.

Forgive me a lack of humility when I say I started this group in August 1983. I’ve had the great fortune to watch and help others into recovery through this group.

These are just the thoughts of a still grateful sober alcoholic who’s also getting on in belly button years. Kind regards to you all.

steve.k.

P.S. Thanks very much also to the moderator of this site. Your efforts are appreciated. Bye for now.

6 comments - First published on: 30/08/2010

Back Home

I had a good visit to Combat Stress. Mixing with other veterans is a great tonic. The staff there are second to none and I’m very grateful to them. Words cannot describe the help I have received there. I’m seemingly well thought of by my fellow veterans and staff. I take a good attitude with me when I go as you would expect.

We in recovery are a breed apart in my estimation, an example to others who have no idea just what recovery means. I always manage to get the same dates at Hollybush as my friend John, who is also many years in recovery.

He and I shared an instant equality with each when we first met. No ego or one-upmanship. Just a generosity of spirit and a respect for each other’s recovery. As usual we went to the meetings at Green Street where there is always a warm welcome. So three cheers for AA in Scotland and thank you.

There was one guy at Combat Stress early in recovery. He asked me how long I was in recovery. When I told him he exclaimed, “Wow, you’re an old timer.” “No”, said I, “Just sober all day.”

I must admit having a bee in my bonnet when it comes to this Americanism about old timers. Senior in years of recovery maybe, it’s just for today anyway

So I’m settling back down at home now and have enjoyed a rare sunny dry day. I send all my love to my Wired In friends.

Kind regards

Steve

2 comments - First published on: 15/08/2010

The Invisible Wound

The welfare officer from combat stress ex-services mental welfare society visited me today. I’m going to Hollybush House, Ayr, Scotland next week. I’ve been going there now for three years. I’m eternally grateful for the help I’ve received there.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, or the invisible wound. I unknowingly had this condition when I left the forces. As I got into recovery, and time passed, the images, sounds, faces, smells and noises passed. I’m not going to blog to much detail except my best buddy was killed by the IRA. Also other issues.

I never attended any Remembrance Sunday parades or regimental reunions. I was protecting myself and, to a degree, avoiding anything that might resurrect my ghosts. This worked for a lot of years,and kept the lid on things.

When I was drunk I used to shoot myself through the legs and hands with a .22 rifle to deflect the guilt I carried. Cutting and burning with cig butts also. Overdoses and hospital visits galore. This behaviour went untreated.

Stopping drinking and getting the programme kept me away from alcohol and all the prescription drugs. But I never addressed some underlying issues. I only discovered this to my cost, when about five years ago seemingly out of the blue my symptoms of PTSD reappeared with a vengeance. The nightmares, the images, sounds and smells.

I was at least able this time in recovery to do something about it. The Royal British Legion contacted combat stress for me. The relief I felt talking to other veterans there was amazing. Another recovery journey started from that day.

I’ve made many new friends, a good few are in AA also. I go to AA meetings at Green St while I’m there. Any vets reading this blog know me more than most. At the going down of the sun I will remember you all. Thanks also Wired In.

Kind regards steve.k.

3 comments - First published on: 28/07/2010