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I have been looking for a website like this for a long time and thankfully I now have it…
My story starts when my daughter was 19 years old… She became friendly with a couple of girls and after some time unknown to me she took heroin… To cut a long story short… a few months passed and things went haywire… I thought it was her age not realising that it was something more…
During that period, she had attacked me, stole from me, created merry hell… The stuff that nightmares are made off…
I was divorced and on my own with the problem…..It gradually got worse and worse…. every penny she would have off me…
I eventually met a lovely guy who tried to help with her problem, but even that wasn’t able to be done… We moved in together and for the first time I wasn’t on my own… I had someone there for me…
Time passed and the problems weren’t getting any better… She was on methadone and we thought that things were going well for her, but she was still taking heroin on top of it…
Eventually after 7 years of hell, I had to put her out… My partner had left due to what was going on with her… I kept trying with my daughter, trying to sort her out, trying to get more help…
It didn’t work, she wasn’t changing…. so I had to do it… I put her out… She wasnt on her own, she had a boyfriend who was just the same.
For 6 years we weren’t in contact…
Last year, I heard she was working… I went to the supermarket were she was and low and behold there she was working away… I just came up behind her and called her name… I don’t know what made me do it but I think it was the mother in me……
My daughter is on methadone and doing really well… Her boyfriend is doing great and they are engaged and planning a future together…
I see her every second Wednesday and she comes to stay with my parther who is now my hubby… She stays with us every second weekend… She has grown up so much and realises what I went through because of that habit…
I think the killer is for me… guilt… I put my only child out on the streets when I should have been protecting her… I question myself all the time, did I do the right thing?… She said that I did and it made her grow up… I still feel bad but I also think what would have happened if I hadn’t… I would probably be dead by now…
I don’t know if this makes any sense to someone reading this… There is so much to my story, just like others… At least, now I have a place that I can come to and put my feelings down…
Thank you for this
Wow Linda – well done for telling us your story – I’m sure it took a great deal of effort.
As you stated yourself Linda, you tried everything that you could think of to help your daughter. But ultimately, she needed to help herself. As you say, maybe having to fend for herself played a part in her addressing her drug use.
Addiction has such a massive effect on family members (especially if you were dealing with it alone). Their own needs often go by the wayside – but this should not be the way.
In a conversation with Ian and Irene McDonald, they said that family members need to understand that will never be able to control the behaviours of the drug user. But they do have control over their own behaviours.
It is important that family members do not take responsibility for the consequences of their loved ones drug use. It is easy for addiction to take over the lives of the drug user and all those close to them. But this does not have to be the case.
It’s great to have you blogging and I’m looking forward to hearing more.
Well done Linda!
thank you for your quick response…..i feel that i now have a place to come and just be myself….to find people with the same problems and worries really helps me….
i have been looking for years for a place that i could come too and just by chance i found you last night…i am so pleased….
for the first time i am feeling happier that i have others beside me who knows what i am going through and have been through.
thank you once again lucy and thanks for this fantastic website..
linda
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I have been travelling between Australia and Dubai, where I now am for a few days with my children.
Thank you so much for blogging your thoughts. They will inspire many others.
You did absolutely the right thing. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
My best wishes, David
Linda: powerful stuff and really moving. What courage it took to do the right thing – the healthy thing.
It goes against the instincts, but I believe that healthy love looks at the big picture. As a recovering addict, I know that families get sick too when there is an addict or alcoholic active in the house. To get well it is so very healty to detach with love and look after your own needs.
Great blog.
Linda
Thank you for your bravery in telling your story. I have heard the sad scary words many times “but if I put them out they will kill themselves” and as the others have said she needed to help herself, but from a parent perspective it is very scary as to what might happen despite the chaos at home. Here in Australia we have a support organization call “Tough love” where parents who are experiencing what you did can support each other, but sadly many parents cannot accept that support and the Chaos continues.
Congratulations on marrying your partner and I trust as I write this your daughter and her young man have started a life together and all goes well for them.
Mickey
Welcome to Wired In Linda, and thank you for sharing your story with everyone on this site; it was very brave of you to do this especially considering your feelings of guilt. Mothers are so used to making things right for their children (they’re programmed genetically to do this) that it’s very frightening when you can’t ‘sort it for them’.
So, as you so rightly say, telling them to go must be the hardest thing in the world for a mother to do, but Instead of feeling guilty you should be proud that you did what you did. As Lucie pointed out it’s only the user that can make the necessary changes, but by making changes in the way that you dealt with your daughter, at a time when she herself was not prepared to make changes, you prompted change from her as a result of your action, and she subsequently made the changes that she’d been so resistant to.
Heroin tears families apart. Like a stone dropped into a pond, and the ripples it generates, the effects reach out to the immediate family and beyond, and I’ve heard it referred to as ‘an equal opportunities drug’, since it’s no respecter of class, gender or anything else. You can feel judged by your peers as being an inadequate mother, but this is simply not the case; It’s no reflection on your parenting skills, and is simply a choice that your daughter made.
It’s good to hear that your daughter has made some real progress with her life and that she appears to be doing well and is getting reconciled with her family again and, hard as it was for you, your decision to ask her to leave has paid dividends, so please try to get rid of the guilt and enjoy rebuilding your relationship with her.
This site/on-line community is a really great place to get things off your chest and to interact with other like-minded people who have their own experiences, skills, compassion and empathy, so keep on blogging, or joining in by commenting in discussions – it’s very therapeutic!
Ian & Irene
thank you for your comments…i feel that i have a place to go that i can say how i feel without hiding it….
i think one of the things that really hurts me is that i worked for the adult education dept and had done courses regarding drugs…to think i had missed it with my daughter really hurts….
when i eventually took the decision to put my daugher out yea, i never slept, couldnt eat…i shut down totally…..i was like that for a few years but with help of anti depressants i got through…
unfortunatly there isnt a place were i live that i can go to but the samaritans helped although they couldnt do anything…..
there is so much to what happened to me that it will take time to write it all down but i will….
my daughter is down this weekend for 2 days so that is my time to enjoy our relationship and continue to build it up…
Linda, you have been on, and continue on, a long journey. It will be great to have another two lovely days with your daughter.
It will be lovely to hear more about this journey, in your own time. Many people who have been on similar journeys say that they develop as a person and learn so much more about themselves.
What you have to say will help you therapeutically and will help others – and you helping others will probably help you.
Thank you for spending time with us.
My best from Dubai. I’m lying next to my youngest son, who I now only get to see about 10 weeks a year and I know how special time is with ones kids.
Enjoy!!
Hi Linda
As a drug and alcohol educator I am aware that we teach people about drugs there effects what to look out for as your children grow up and we sound very Knowledgeable and confident. But be assured from my point of view that even though I looked confident as I taught parents, underneath I had my worries that my daughter could be a user and would I be able to identify it (NO). As I am aware that a person using a substance can conceal use very well and as you indicated it can mimic growing up, so even with the tools to help we can miss the evidence. So lay aside that hurt you did your best as a parent who cared. I have been blessed my daughter did not use any of the illicit drugs, yes she has used alcohol but again I have been Blessed she has stuck to Guidelines. I would encourage you to give yourself credit for the way you have handled the situation and look at the bits that engender guilt as lessons you have learned, rather than something to be stuck with, and from those lessons is there a way you could help someone else, may be in adult education, may be at the local school with parents and teachers. Just some thoughts. Have a lovely time with your daughter
Mickey
Linda i believe you did what was right for you, there is no set formula for dealing wit the horrors of addiction, but there are those who have survived what you and you family have gone through to come out the other end to offer hope to those still suffering. I thankyou so much and look forward to reading more about your story, big hug
Annemarie x
Hi Linda like yourself I had three sons that misused heroin. Applying tough love is the hardest thing to do but when you hit rock bottom were else is there to go. Stop beating yourself up give yourself a pat on the back you are doing just fine.
I am sure that along the way you have learned a lot about yourself and your strenths and weaknesses they will stand you in good stead for the future believe me.I myself came out of the experience with a wish to help others. I gave up trying to be mother fix it and started looking at my own needs. I went to college at age 54 learned about drugs and supporting others that had been in the same boat. I now run a succsesful agency supporting parents relatives and freinds of drug and alcohol misusers. There is life after drugs for us we just need to reach out and get it. Good luck for the future and welcome to the site
I send a big hug
june c
well my daughter is down for the weekend and we sat and watched a couple of films together with my hubby….we had a nice night although she was a bit excitable…this leads onto a bit of depression which hit later on….
when she went to bed i went in and cuddled her like a child…oh how i missed all those cuddles….
she broke down and started apologising for all the stuff she did in the past and the tears were enough to soak me….
i know i carry the guilt and i am dealing with it but how can i get her to leave the past in the past….that is really important to me…she has to move on and stop looking backwards..
as i have said to her in many occasions, the past is over with, we cannot undo it but we can look forwrard to a future….
if anyone has any words that i can use i would be really so grateful..
i have told her about this site and i have said to her that she could join it too as i feel it would be good for her to get things out in the open with other’s who might be going through the same thing…
linda
i have just registered my daughter on to this site as i feel that she will benefit from it..
she said that she feels that by using the site she will be able to put down all her feelings about the past and maybe once and for all lay it to rest….
i dont know when she is going to start but i feel this will be good for her.
linda
Glad to hear you all had a good weekend together. You mentioned the difficulty you’re having in trying to find words to encourage your daughter in her recovery and let go of her guilt about her past.
I’d suggest that you might try telling her that whilst she’s worrying about what happened in the past, and is concerned about the future, she’s preventing herself from enjoying the present and what she has achieved (mindfulness).
We all have a tendency to look for complicated solutions, when often the logical and simplest ones are the best!
Irene
Brilliant linda, i am so glad you asked your daughter to join as it was my first thought when i read your blog, tell her from one recovering addict to another i look forward to reading her blog and giving her any support she might need. Big hug to you both
annemarie x
Hi my name is Pauline mckendrick and i am Linda,s daughter. I am 33 on the 3rd of may. My herion habbit started when i was 19 and it has nearly took me 11-12 years to kick the drug. All the years ago my mum said to me that did i want to be like that when i am 30 but at the time all i was intrested in was my next hit. I DID SO SO MANY THINGS WRONG!!!.
I made my mum very ill and every penny she had i took away from her. I didnt care at the time, and if she didnt give me it i would be so angry that i lost control of my temper. I had attacked my mum on quite a few times and it wasnt little silly taps it was full on. So much that i broke my mums ankle and could of done a lot more damage.
I have done and said so many things wrong and i just dont know how to forget about the past. I would love to give my mum an award for being the best mother ever.
When i was at my worst my mum had to put me out. I had just met my husband to be and we where homeless in glasgow.
That was very hard as i seen a lot of things, people stole from me and drugs where so easy to get. I hated every second of it. I was there for about a year.
I seen people lying dying after taken to much herion and mixing it with other drugs. It wasnt the first time when i had no herion for a day that overdose was looking like the only way to stop causing pain for my family and my motherxxx
So far life has been pretty good since last year when i met my mum when i was working in tesco. I am no longer there but i am still looking for a new job. I want to make my mum so so proud of me. I havent done much with my life for her to be proud of. Yes i am off drugs but i have done nothing with my life, I havent got any kids, and sometimes you dont know what to do next, ( move forward ).
Every time i think about the past i always end in tears, i just cant help it. If only i could of seen the damage that i caused to my mum, nana,grandad.I wish with all my might that nana-grandad could see me know.I hope they would be proud of me. But how do you get over all the nasty things i said and done. I will never forgive myself ever.
I wouldnt be suprised if god closed the gates on me when i pass away and send me to hell for all the shit i caused my mum.
If anyone reads this please think first before you do drugs as it destroys your life and your familys.
Through me being on drugs for so long i have no female freinds except my mum dad and my husband to be.
I am glad that mum put me out as god knows what i would of been like. Being out and homeless in glasgow i had to grow up quick, I do thank my mum for this as for all i know i might of been dead or worse. My mum has nothing to feel guilty about, as if she didnt love me she would of never done it. I love her so muchxx
She is my mum. One in a million and i couldnt ask for anybetter than my loving mother. She means the world to me and i hope i make her proud one dayxxxxx P-S ( I WILL WRITE AGAIN SOON AS I COME DOWN EVERY 2 WEEKS ).
Hi Pauline
A big hug for your bravery to write your story, I agree your mum is one in a million and I’m sure you are making her proud right now.
Your comment “ wouldnt be suprised if god closed the gates on me when i pass away” I know He wont as He Loves you very much, you are his unique creation, a special person in His eyes and I am sure He is rejoicing right now that you and your Mum are getting to know each other again
Mickey
Hey Pauline and Linda,
I am so glad that you have had the weekend together to talk and look through the site – I hope that you both find it useful in your own ways.
You both talk a lot about the guilt you are feeling. What you must remember (and as others have said) YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE!
It can be so easy to wallow in our past behaviours – but what purpose does this serve (other than getting us down!!).
The most important thing is that we learn from our mistakes – and you have both shown this.
You both need to be proud of where you are TODAY. You have both shown great strength of character. Not only have you battled through the hell of addiction, you are both lucky enough to have one another in your lives and in your futures!
Sending you both a huge hug!!
well my daughter is away home now but i will see her next wednesday for shopping.
we just lazed around over the weekend, the housework was done and it was time for us to just be together.
as polly said she finds it hard to get rid of her guilt, same as me…but i was telling her that she has to let it go…the more she talks about it to me the more upset i get and vice versa….
i told her about this site and said to her that she could unload here were she could get support and also maybe be able to make sense of things…for me, i can tell her till i am blue in the face but i think we are just too close were as coming from other people who arent so close will help…
although she is now home, i phone her every night to see how she is and get all the gossip….us girls like a bit of gossip…
my daughter had to go into the site under my name as i set her up an email account and for some reason its not working so she had to set up another one….bloody computer email sites….better with an abacus lol….
as you can see i feel not too bad today, if only all days were like this i would be in heaven….well not literarly…
linda
Hi Pauline
You cannot live with the guilt of the past. What has happened happened. You must now enjoy what you have and share that love that you and mum have for each other. You are incredibly brave to have gotten where you are now after all those problems. Keep enjoying the present and moving forward with your recovery.
My best wishes.
I thought I would write a bit about myself and what I did for a living.
I started work at 15yrs old doing a hairdressing apprenticeship lasting 4 yrs…I loved my time in that shop as it was a very large place with a lot of characters that I worked with….
I was married and divorced and expecting my daughter who was born on May 3rd, she was my 21st birthday present..
I was so proud of her and enjoyed taking her out in her lovely black silver cross pram, gosh I used to polish the leather on the body and clean the chrome round the wheels…I walked every day…during the following months we had a heat wave so it was great to get out and show her off.
Eventually when she went to primary school, I ended up working for community education..My job was to encourage people into further education and I also did youth work which was from 5yrs -11yrs, I was based in my daughter’s primary so it was handy.
I worked there for a number of years and really enjoyed my work; part of the youth work also encompassed disabled children.
After a number of years I decided to go back to school and study which I am pleased at as I passed my o’grades, something that I didn’t do when I was younger.
After that, I went back to college and got my HNC in hairdressing again and eventually started work in a salon….I enjoyed it but the owner was a right pain….I decided to look for something else and applied for a position that was in our local paper as a manager of a salon….never thinking that I would get it I got the interview…..yep that was it, I had finally arrived..
I worked in the salon and really loved it…my employer was great and he put my name above the door for all to see, that was such a proud moment…I had worked hard for that.
After a number of years there, my employer had to move on so the landlord of the shop took over and to be honest I never really settled that well after that….I was having problems with my daughter and felt that I needed to be home more.
I left that salon and started work in a salon in our local hospital….I was working 5 half days a week for the same money so it meant that I could spend more time at home…things were getting bad but there was no way I could show that at work, I am dealing with patients who have cancer, limbs removed ect so there was no way I could take my baggage to work….I had no one to turn too at all even in a hospital.
One day my daughter came into see me…I thought it was strange as she was acting funny….I was on my own for a while and she took advantage of that and started bullying me for money…I managed to lock my till so that was safe and security was only feet away…..after quite some time she left and I remember security coming into see if I was okay and I just said yea….not letting on who she was..
I decided that this was no good. I was too easy to get a hold off, to be bullied so I left the hospital and started work in the IBM..
Gosh I hated that place but at least I couldn’t be contacted, well that is what I thought….it didn’t work…I got calls from my daughter and her then boyfriend….
When I was walking home, yep after a 12 hour shift I would walk home quite a distance….I was walking backwards….not wanting to get there but knowing that I had to be there…..
I eventually left that place after a few months and had to go onto the sick, I was starting to go downhill rapidly…..I got no help from anyone; I didn’t know were to start….
I haven’t worked since…I have been taking care of my daughter and working and then also taking care of my parents which I didn’t mind a bit….after I lost my parents I felt as if I didn’t want to go on…they never new what I was going through and I remember going to the doctor finally and breaking down…I told him I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to be with my mum and dad and he said “oh were are they” I said DEAD….yep I had finally arrived…I wanted to die…I had given up on life, why should I live my life like this…..I was immediately put on anti depressants and kept an eye on…..I thank my doctor every day for saving me….
I sometimes still feel a bit like why am I here but I try and give myself a kick and start cleaning cupboards….I must have the cleanest cupboards in my home town.
That is just a short description of who I am….I am now 53yrs, have I learned a lot…yep….got the tee-shirt and the hat…
I now realise that there is life after falling so low but it takes time…
I am still healing even now and I think that process will continue for quite some time.
Hope this makes sense to all reading this blog….
yep linda it makes perfect sense, and i am sure there are many mothers out there who have had a similar journey, your story will give them identification and hope, thankyou again for leting us get to know you and your family. Tell your duaghter i am looking forward to reading her story also. Big hug
annemarie x
today is jut one of those days were depression has hit badly….
i dont know what it is, i should be happy but i feel as if a hole has just opened up and swallowed me…
i want to climb out of this hole but i cant..
Hi Linda
Sorry to hear you are having one of those days. One thing I am aware of is that after a good time with someone we care for we can often feel flat the next day or so. I am also aware that if we were happy all the time it would lose it’s charm. So a down day is a good thing it helps to keep a balance. It is good that you can write about it as often we worry about a down day and keep it to ourselves and mull over and over which makes it seem worse. At least by writing you have bought it out and I am sure the replies will help to lift you.
Mickey
Linda,
It’s not at all surprising that you have bad days given all that you have been through. Your moods are not necessarily going to correspond with what is going on around you at that time. The highs of seeing your daughter and the accompanying happiness can so easily be followed by a large contrast effect, where you feel low mood.
I think Mickey had made some good points.
I bought a very interesting self-help book on mindfulness for work, but then realised how appropriate it was for my own daily existence. Can I recommend that you buy a copy from Amazon and see what you think? It shows you a way of living (you need to train yourself) which could really help someone in your position.
The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (includes Guided Meditation Practices CD) by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn
Sorry, forgot to say, don’t be put off by the label depression. The book is relevant in helping people get through periods of low mood like you describe
tonight i was a bit better, still low but not the feeling of wanting to cry…i dont know why my thinking went strange…i mean i was thinking really bad thoughts and for the first time in ages it was a real worry.
i am a member of the greenock model yacht and power boat club…i sail model 6metre yachts and scale models..i own a fishing vessel so i was re-rigging it tonight….having to concentrate on something else really helps…
i am the only female in a club of all men so the banter is good and i get treated like one of the guys which is great….usually the laugh is at my expense but heck i dont mind that….i get my own back…
the boat club has been great as i can forget everything and be in a wee world of my own….
i started going over there with my hubby as we do a lot of photography and filming and that hobby has led onto boats….now our video’s and pictures are all up on youtube…
i have difficulty sleeping and have been like that for 2 yrs now as i have graves disease….for 3 months i didnt know what was wrong with me until i eventually went to my doctor…i had radio iodine treatment and put on thyroxin but its really messed with my sleep pattern so i am on sleepers which i take every 3 days as i try and do without them , it never works….
i just worry about the down days as i am always frightened incase one day i cant get myself out of it….
i am so glad to have found this place because at least i can put my thoughts down no matter what they are
Hi Linda
Congratulations on your discovery that concentrating on something else helps.
Your hobby sounds fascinating, have you ever thought about documenting your experience with your hobby, not just pictures and videos. This will like the rerigging help you be outside yourself and assist in moving away from rehashing thoughts. Does the sleep problem mean you cannot get to sleep or have broken sleep or what? also does the sleeping problem interfere with your daytime activities? if it does not interfere in any major way with daytime activities, could you rest at times during the day and adapt to the pattern that has developed by doing this?
Mickey
hi mickey
the sleep problem i have means that i dont sleep…the thyroxine i am on can cause that problem but its mostly the condition i have…
if i dont take my sleeper i can be on the go for 48 hours and on the 3rd day i am so exhausted that i am not fit to do anything..
i could take the sleeper every night but they are addictive so i like to watch that side of it…..
if i cat nap during the day i feel worse for it so i keep trying to tire myself out in the hope that i will sleep….i listen to pan pipe music when in bed to relax….
the boat club is brilliant as we sail on an old reservoir and we are the oldest boat club in britain and there is a lot of wild life on it like swans and ducks…th best way to document a hobby like that is with pictures and video as a lot of people dont understand those models and to be honest it would be boring writing about them…
at night when its the summer, we put lights on the yachts and send them out and just sit on chairs with coffee and sail…they are wind powered with no motor, not like the scale models…we also race the yachts and that is an experience..
i think sometimes my depression is due to unnecessary worry…i worry about the future with my daughter, i worry incase i get used again by her…i worry i could get too close to her and be let down again….silly stupid things can start it up…i think its still early days with her and myself and i suppose i am still getting used to it as we have been apart for 6 yrs…
Hi Linda Thanks for the quick response. I can see the problem more clearly now and unfortunately do not have a simple answer. however the last Paragraph of your blog is what I am talking about when I say rehashing ideas and it can be shown that if we do not bring these out and keep thinking about them only in our head, then it appears that the thought will connect to other thoughts in our mind that are negative and begin to become large in our imagination, which of course will have the effect of making us feel very negative about ourselves, so keep blogging. Again your hobby sounds fascinating, and yes writing about it may sound boring, but for us who read it especially if it has pictures ( like the Chairs with coffee and the boats with their lights) to go with the text it is fascinating and I am sure there are many people who do not or cannot access the internet to see the pictures who can access a book.
Mickey
today was a good day…
i managed to get 3 hours sleep before the alarm went off…i was up and out early to see my specialist and myself and my hubby walked home in the nice fresh air….
once we got home, we decided to go for a meal to celebrate his birthday yesterday and off we went and then walked home again…it was really nice..
when i got home, i phoned my daughter to see how she was and things are going well with her…she was sitting back with a coffee relaxing after doing all her housework….she said she was thinking of the best way to get energy up to sort her bedroom out…you know how it takes 4 coffee’s and a nap before tackling a clear out lol….
if anyone wants their house sorted just phone my daughter, she is great at it….housework is nothing to her….she eats it lol….
she said she was at the job centre today signing on….there is nothing doing still unless you want to walk round people’s houses delivering leaflets……at least she is looking and applying….last week i think she had applied for her 35th job….
what a difference the way i am thinking today…i feel great….
Wonderful news you are feeling so good.
another good day today..got up and tidied the house and then went into town shopping….the town was really busy so i was glad to get home again.
i phoned my daughter to see how things were going with her, all is well there too….we spent some time talking about the red nose programme that was on tv last night and what we thought about the type of comedy that was shown..
after tea, i sat and watched billy connolly that i had taped a few nights ago, he was in canada….the country that he showed was really breathtaking…..
its been a good day and tomorrow i am sailing in a competition….i am a novice so it should be interesting….and a laugh.
Well here I am again sitting without any sleep…I am tired but sleep just doesn’t take over me…
I stare at the walls and make shadows out of them, a tree blowing in the wind dances on my walls with its branches waving to me.
The noise of the wind whistling around the building sounds like someone calling on their dog but I know its not, there is no one there…..
I have decided to just get out of bed and make myself some horlicks to drink, nice and milky and I sit down to drink it…how comfy the couch is, I think to myself, I could sleep here…I sink into the couch and it starts to swallow me up within the cushions…why couldn’t that happen when I am bed?.
Well I have finished my drink and I must move and try to sleep…..I’ll count the branches that are waving on my wall and maybe wave back and eventually my eyes well get so tired that they will close and I hope that I don’t waken up until the morning…
Hi Linda
Trust you had a lot of laughs and plenty of coffe at the sailing event, did you win?
Suggestion re sleep – If your husband agrees take a couple of those comfy cushions with you to bed and snuggle up to him with cushions behind you or wherever they feel comforting.
Keep having lots of laughs and possibly dreaming of travel to places like Canada, by the way Australia and New Zealnd are pretty spectacular (but then I am biased)
Mickey
unfortunatly i didnt win but it was a good day..
i’ll take my V pillow and snuggle up to it….i managed to get 3 hours sleep last night so hopefully i’ll get more tonight…
australia is such a beautiful country and what we found was that everyone was so friendly….we have been to iceland and norway and other countries and i have always found a warm welcome were ever we went.
If my mother had done the same i may have found recovery earlier. All love and respect for how you loved her enough to put her out. Glad she is doing so well, its always great to hear of people back home starting to live again. x
I’ll see if it gets through any better this time! I commented on this blog a year ago and more, but my comment was edited out. The burden of what I was then asking was to what degree Ms P McK had ever experienced emotionally responsible support from adult males. Craig’s dad’s behaviour raises, irresistably, the same question in my mind.
I know that Keli, my little mate, had an appalling childhood at home, physically, emotionally and psychologically, she has also, upon occasion, raised the question of whether a ‘responsible’ adult who was convicted of raping his own 12 y.o. daughter may have sexually abused her as well. When she has raised this natter I have gently asked her if she would like to explore her feelings about the possibilities further, but she has always said “No, I am not ready for that yet”. The whole thing seems to have been appallingly handled by her parents, and I can’t say much more for fear of identifying her. I am not suggesting for one moment that Polly has been abused, rather than that she may have suffered from a lack of responsible male interest.
What I do have no problems with sharing is that in late 1957 I was knocked across the street by a car and suffered severe-ish brain damage. I have trembled like an aspen ever since, all through school I was a ‘spazzy’ but since I passed the age of 17, I have been an ‘alky’. That is forty-three, count them, 43 years! Shortly before my discharge from hospital after a a colorectal resection in 2007 I was told by ny surgeon that I drank too much, because, wait for it, and loudly across the ward “Look at the way your hands are shaking!”. My response was to suggest he took ‘Nursing 1001’, looked up danage to the upper parietal lobe and resultant intention tremor. To be fair to the guy, he did apologise later, but very, very privately.
I do suspect that too many professionals rely upon prejudice rather than evidence.
Luv, g.
