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My Heart Goes Out to Parents Who Have Lost A Loved One
I’m Matt, part of the wiredin2recovery group based in Cardiff. My story really goes out to the parents who have lost family through heroin addiction.
Firstly, my story is not out of the ordinary. I tried heroin about four years ago and found it to be the ultimate escape from every day stress and worries. Someone once described it as like being wrapped in a warm blanket where all your worries fade away.
This is true in the beginning, but before long you find yourself hooked.
After four years of trying to get off it unsuccessfully, my back was firmly against the wall. This was following two serious car accidents, two near overdoses, two trips to the poisons unit at Llandoch hospital, and the near break up of my relationship.
My father disowned me, and my mother kept her distance, although I knew she hadn’t given up on me completely. I can’t blame them as they have had no experience with heroin addiction and had no idea what to do, or what state I was going to be in if they came to see me.
Finally, I was arrested for possession of heroin and immediately referred to the Drug Intervention Program (DIP) in Cardiff. A blessing in disguise really, as the waiting list for the CAU is over 12 months… long enough for me to have OD’d or ended up homeless.
Thanks to the Doctors and case-workers and DIP I was given the option of taking Naltrexone (opiate blocker). This got me over the month barrier, which was the longest I’d managed to stay clean. I have now been clean for three and a half months with no looking back.
I just want to say: someone once asked me how I feel now when I look back at what I had done. The first thing that came to mind was ‘shame’ and ‘guilt’ for the distress and worry I put my parents and partner through.
They were the last people I wanted to hurt. The trust is starting to build up again but I will never forgive myself for what I did to them.
For those who have lost loved ones through heroin, I can guarantee the last people on earth they wanted to hurt were their family!
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost family to this evil drug!
Matt
Matt thankyou for sharing your story with us, very honest and brave. As you point out stopping is not the problem its staying stopped thats the problem… well done you on your three and a half months, long may it continue and thanks also for your sentiments to those who have lost love ones, i am sure many on here will find it comforting as I have x
You say that your story is not out of the ordinary but what you are doing now is extra-ordinary. Keep on keeping on….
Matt, great to have you sharing your experiences and views. I know this is something very dear to your heart. You’re in a different place now and are doing so well, with so much to give to others too. I’m sure your parents can see this too! Well done and see you at the group. Sar
