Our Sponsors are an important foundation of our online community. Please visit their websites.
Our Associate Sponsors provide valuable support to our community and help build 'The Wall'.
Our partners help move the Wired In agenda forward.
Join our community, create your own profile page, and communicate about what matters to you.
Guess what – didn’t sleep and this morning the postman brought some more cards of condolence, which I have found very supportive. And there it was in the pile, a death certificate!
Not even a real one but an ‘interim’ death certificate because of ‘cause of death unknown’. Have you ever held a death certificate – it’s not real, its like living a bad dream and even holding this single piece of paper has made it even less real in a funny kind of way.
Is this what life is all about a birth certificate and then a death certificate; kept in a nice little ‘keepsake’ box?
Oh Michael where are you?
Susan, if I were there I’d hug you, because I can’t think of any words.
I’ll tell you what, it is hard to know what to write as I feel lost for words, which is unnusual for me. Things like this I imagine as body blows, knocking the stuffing out of you.
I suppose the answer is no, this isn’t what life is all about. But I suppose it is what death is all about and that is what is so hard. Nothing else just stops in this way. Nothing is anywhere near so final – there is always a way back.
Now the only way is forward and that can’t be easy.
So sorry to hear your sad news. I a worker in the field, I’ve had the sorry of lousing a client who has shared very intimate thoughts and feelings. It is a different sadness. As a sister of one who took their own life and was certainly in the early stages of addiction. I feel for you. As a mother, the thought of out living your own child; is devistating. The worst of all these – what a waste. Users are usually some of the most sensitive of human beings, that’s the main reason they use. Emotions are especially hard for them. I truely believe, they look out for us when they “pass over” or whatever is out there and I’m sure your son is doing that for you.
I am stuck for words, tears in my eyes. All I can say just now, is that I am thinking of you.
Susan I have no words for you either, but was asked to do my aunts eulogy a few weeks ago, and during that time i came across some wonderful poems, i hope you dont mind if i share this one with you as it touch me greatly. My aunt who passed away so suddenly on new years day lost her son who was only 17, 10 days before my own son who is now 7 was born.
Hope you like the poem xxxx
Please don’t tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don’t tell me someday I’ll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don?t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don?t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can’t stop,
Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I’ll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don’t hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.
Wow – thank you Anne Marie, pwerful words
sue x
O susanc – cant say anything, just so emotional to digest. the fewer the words for families and friends sometimes is the best thing i can do.
Just know your not on your own.
Me too Susan… sometimes things just don’t make much sense. Just know that your son’s life had more meaning and power than the certifcates show. Your memories are more precious that the box. With love x
Searching . . .
Wonderful poem Annemarie. Thank you.
Sending you much love Sue
