VolunteerMasha Bennett

Self-help: “Box” metaphor

Continuing the theme of coping with intense feelings during some of the difficult times in the process of recovery, I find that sometimes the following metaphor is useful to help people deal with overwhelming emotion and troublesome memories.

Whilst I am a big proponent of expressing and releasing negative emotions, rather than suppressing and hiding them, there are occasions in life when we almost cannot cope with a wave of strong feelings. And this is where people can often turn back to the tried and tested coping mechanisms, like drugs and alcohol.

There are situations where someone gets extremely upset and, for whatever reason, the problem they are dealing with cannot be resolved or relieved at the time. For example, in the context of a therapy session this could happen towards the end where there would not be sufficient time to work through what is going on for the individual.

In these circumstances I may suggest to them that perhaps they would like to – temporarily – put the issue that is so disturbing to them, in some type of container or a box, for safekeeping, so that we/they can have a look at it later when they are ready.

You can experiment with this now, perhaps using an issue or event that is upsetting you just a bit (it is best to practice these techniques on issues with mild to moderate level of emotion). Say, your boss criticised you at work – you may be angry, anxious or embarrased about this, and find it difficult to get it out of your mind.

Now, take the picture of the event/issue that is bothering you and see yourself putting it in a container, say a box of some sort. Then, take your time to answer the following questions.

• What kind of box is it?
• What colour is it?
• Is there a pattern?
• How big is the box?
• What texture is it?
• What is it made of?
• Where is the box?
• Does it have a lock on it? One or more?
• Is there a key to the lock(s)?
• Where is the key?
• Is there another box inside it? Or, would you like to put it in a bigger box? (there can be several layers of boxes or packaging, if needed)
• Where would you like to put it for now? (e.g. in the shed at the bottom of the garden, on top of a mountain, bottom of the sea, on the moon etc.)

Notice how you feel now that the difficult issue is packed away for now. Remind yourself that you can open it when you are ready and willing to deal with the issue and the associated emotion.

It is really important that we use this type of exercise only with intention of getting temporary relief from intense emotions, rather than to pack away all our troublesome thoughts and memories – as you will know, the latter does not work long-term and is likely to be counterproductive!

Eventually we do need to open our metaphorical emotional “containers”, one by one, and deal with the issues that are still affecting us.

As one of the participants on my recent EFT workshop in London said, “In order to edit a Word document, you need to open the file first” – a metaphor that perhaps best suits technophiles, but sums up quite neatly the notion that in order to make lasting changes we do need to “open our emotional files” first.

5 comments - First published on: 18/11/2009

Self-help: EFT Tearless Trauma Technique

To continue on the theme of relieving some of the painful and unpleasant memories that can often trip people up on the road to recovery, here is one of the EFT approaches that can help neutralise some of the negative emotions from past experiences.

To use this exercise, you need to have some idea of the basic EFT protocol and, ideally, some experience of using the procedure. If you are completely unfamiliar with this therapeutic and self-help tool, I suggest you read two of my past blog articles on the subject from June/July this year, and try it out for some other issues (such as shoulder tension, headache or possibly to reduce a craving) to get some experience of EFT’s efficacy, before attempting this exercise.

Identify a somewhat unpleasant event from your past experience (ideally not very recent) that is still bothering you. Please only use a mild to moderately difficult memory for this exercise. If you have experienced serious trauma you will need to work through that with a help of a professional. You do not need to think about the event in any detail, it is enough just to have a vague sense of it.

Give that event a title that describes it concisely but specifically. For example, “That time when I was embarrassed” is far too general as it could relate to many different life experiences, but “That Thursday afternoon when Joe Bloggs told me off in front of the whole team” is much more specific and pinpoints a particular event.

Without going into any details of the memory in your mind, just guess how upset/angry/anxious you could get on the scale from 0 to 10 if you did allow yourself to think about that event in some detail, where 0 is no distress at all and 10 is extremely upset.

Once you’ve got your SUD rating (SUD stands for “subjective unit of distress”), use the basic EFT acupressure tapping protocol along with the “title” of the event which you identified earlier. Again, do not go into any detail but just hold onto the general awareness of that event. After one or two rounds of EFT again guess the emotional intensity you could reach now if you were to think vividly of the memory.

In the majority of circmstances, the rating will have gone down, but in any case, continue with further rounds of EFT, checking the SUD ratings by guessing every one or two rounds. For many people, the SUDs can drop to 0 or 1 quite quickly. However, this does depend on the issue and the individual and for some more work will be required.

When your rating has dropped to zero or near zero, you can test what happens when you actually do imagine the event vividly. It is likely that even if you think about it in some detail, the memory will bother you much less than it did when you remembered it in the past.

A word of caution – even though this is known as “Tearless Trauma Technique”, it does not mean that you will not experience any negative emotions during the procedure. If you find that distress is rising rather than falling as you carry out the exercise, it is best to continue tapping on the acupressure points (even without any words) until the emotion subsides. It will usually do so more quickly and easily with, rather than without, acupressure stimulation.

Incidentally, I am looking for an assistant to help me on my EFT for Addiction Treatment workshop in London (Hammersmith) next weekend 14-15th November. Any takers among Wired In members? The assistant would ideally need to have some basic knowledge of EFT and would get a free place on the workshop, which incorporates Level 1 EFT certification + specific applications for addictions. I also have a couple of half-price places available for volunteers and carers. Get in touch through my website http://www.eft4addictions.co.uk if interested.

5 comments - First published on: 09/11/2009

Self-help: V/K Dissociation

It’s not a surprise that drugs and alcohol are often used to soothe and tranquilize painful memories, to neutralise intrusive images and thoughts – they do work, even if temporarily, to relieve emotional pain.

Relapse is common when we begin to work on our “stuff” and all those half-forgotten and suppressed memories surface. As the emotional discomfort increases, it is all too easy to fall back onto the tried and tested coping strategies.

I strive to teach my clients a range of the so-called protective distancing techniques so that they are able to cope with unpleasant memories that do crop up whilst we are working on resolving some of the deeper issues, and minimise the likelihood of relapse.

Some of the approaches from Neuro Linguistic Programming employ the so-called Visual/Kinaesthetic Dissociation (also known as Rewind Technique in Human Givens Psychotherapy) and manipulation of the so-called submodalities (qualities of the visual picture and the sounds of the memory) to neutralise some or all of the upsetting aspects of the memory.

The aim is to break the neural connection between the disturbing or unpleasant image (Visual) and the physical sensations/emotion the person is experiencing (Kinaesthetic) when remembering the event, so that the former no longer triggers the latter.

Depending on how complex the issue is, sometimes this approach in itself is enough to stop flashbacks and nightmares of PTSD, whilst in other cases it can help to temporarily lower the intensity of the emotion around the memory to enable deeper psychotherapeutic work to take place more safely.

You can try the following with a mild to moderately unpleasant memory of your own, to see how this approach can change the quality of the memory in such a way that it may lose its potency.

(Do make sure you choose a mild-ish to moderate problem, as it may be too overwhelming and not safe to work with some of the more traumatic experiences without professional help. Also, if you are experiencing any psychotic symptoms, please do not to attempt this exercise unless you are quided by a qualified mental health professional).

It may be easier to do this with a friend reading out the instructions to you – slowly, with sufficient pauses between sentences to enable you to follow the steps in your mind.

Imagine that you have a remote control in your hand. Get a good sense of it – how heavy is it, what material is it made of, what is the texture, the feel of it in your hand? Notice the buttons – what colour are they, what shape, what type of material? Notice where the buttons are – Play, Pause, Rewind, Fast-forward.. You will also need an additional button for switching between “Colour / Black & White”.

Take your time to pick an imaginary videotape/DVD of that (mild to moderately) unpleasant memory which you would like to work with, and visualise putting it into the video/DVD player (whichever piece of technology you prefer). If you are beginning to feel anxious or upset at the thought of watching it now, you can imagine yourself in the next room, controlling the video remotely without actually having to see it.

Select the Black & White button on the remote control and press Play, so that the video of the memory begins playing – you may not see it if you are in the next room, but will have the control and can manipulate the video in any way you like.

Allow the video to play from the very beginning (just before things start going wrong) until the end, when the worst has passed and you are safe again. Remember that you do not have to watch it directly if it is quite distressing still – imagine “another you” watching it instead. Notice the reaction of that “another you” – are they upset, angry, scared?

Repeat the process of watching the video in black and white a number of times, until “another you” appears calmer. At this point it may feel OK to actually sit and watch the video yourself, still in black and white.

You could choose a friend or a mentor, real or imaginary, whom you could visualise sitting next to you – someone you respect or admire – a teacher, Dalai Llama, your favourite superhero etc.

Watch the video a few times until you notice feeling calmer, more neutral, about what is happening on the screen.

Now, pause the video on the very last frame at the end of the film – here, imagine yourself jumping into that last scene, so that you are actually IN it (still holding your remote control), switch it from black & white into full colour, and rewind the video with you inside the film, with everything happening backwards, FAST, until you find yourself in the first frame.

Repeat this rapid journey backwards a few times.

Now, take a couple of deep breaths and bring the memory you’ve been working with to mind, the way you would do it normally.

After completing the above exercise, it is likely that the memory loses some of it potency, becomes less vivid, perhaps moves further away in your visual field, and appears less significant. You may notice some new insights or perspectives emerging on that event from the past. It is likely that the emotion you have been feeling when remembering that event has subsided.

When used by qualified practitioners, the effectiveness of V/K Dissociation for processing difficult and traumatic memories is comparable to that of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing) and Trauma-Focussed CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

This can also be used for treatment of phobias (in NLP it is often known as “Fast Phobia Cure”).

I will be posting some other examples of techniques that help to establish protective distance and/or neutralise the impact of difficult events and experiences that can jeopardise recovery. If you try any of these or have experience of other effective approaches, I would love to hear your thoughts.

3 comments - First published on: 07/11/2009

David Nutt’s sacking

I don’t think the recent saga with the sacking of Professor David Nutt has been discussed on here as yet. Whether we agree with his opinions or not, I personally feel quite sad that the government appears to have taken action on the basis of what looks like a political motive.

I am inclined to agree with Chris Huhne on this, who is quoted as saying: “What is the point of having independent scientific advice if as soon as you get some advice that you don’t like, you sack the person who has given it to you?”

The research evidence upon which David Nutt has made some of his controversial statements appears to be sound, whether we like it or not.

Two members of the Advisory Council for the Misuse of Drugs, Dr Les King and pharmacist Marion Walker, resigned on Sunday in protest at David Nutt’s sacking (apparently without a pharmacist on board the Counil ceases to be a legitimate advisory body).

Dr King told the BBC he did not think the panel could continue. He is quoted as saying ministers had used the council as “a rubber stamp, as a poodle, by coming to the advisory council with a pre-determined agenda about drug classification”. Full article here

Would be interested to know of other people’s opinion on this subject. What do you think?

11 comments - First published on: 05/11/2009