Membermichael m

No big deal?

Saturday was my birthday. Not the anniversary of my actual birth but the calender day on which a few years ago I had my last drink. Until this day I have, through some miracle and a great deal of help, remained clean and sober.

Around this time I always say to myself, “It’s no big deal, it’s just another day.” But I find myself in a very reflective mood. I consider my life, what it was, what I had become and who I am now. This really blows my mind!

I had drunk with abandon ever since I discovered alcohol, using every substance that came my way. I took to them all like a duck to water. Forever thinking that this might be just what I need, this will change the way I feel deep down, this will change who I am, this might fix me.

I think, perhaps I always carried with me a deep sense of loss, felt a grief deep within that I couldn’t explain or turn to face. A fear of life and all its trouble. For I felt that life was sure to be trouble for me. Of course no-one could ever know these feelings, so they were buried, deep, and covered over with drink and drugs, with lies, falsehood, shame….and money and girls and pride and every thing I could find to weigh them down.

But like fear filled bubbles these feelings rose to the top. I became a boiling mess of pain and anger no amount of drink could still.

And then I broke. And by some miracle found myself among people like myself, people like you, who knew how to get by. For at first it was getting by, those baby steps to the future became stronger and more assured and I was on my feet.

Today the miracle of having two lives in one lifetime is a wonder beyond anything I could have imagined. I am happy, healthy and free.

If you asked me today, “What is recovery?”, I’d say freedom.

Life is sometimes difficult, sometimes painful and often confusing but that’s just life.

Thank you for all the work you put in to make this place happen, its so very needed and appreciated.

Yours. M.

8 comments - First published on: 08/02/2010

Space for volunteers at the cafe

Hi all,

Been out of touch for a couple of months as work has taken me away.

What a blessing to be able to go where ever free men go and to meet the challenges life brings, to learn from them, to grow and give my best. Now I’m back in beautiful Edinburgh among my family and friends, life truly is beyond my wildest dreams.

Serenity Cafe’s next event is on Friday 27th of this month, November. It promises to be another great evening, if there is anyone who would like to get involved, helping on the night as a volunteer we would love you to get in touch. All you need is willingness and some enthusiasm and we can promise a fantastic night. Volunteering at Serenity Cafe is a wonderful rewarding experience, please come, please help, you’ll love it.

You can contact me here, or at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or on the Serenity Cafe Facebook page.

Thanks so much, freedom and joy Michael

4 comments - First published on: 20/11/2009