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I have been working as a Volunteer Co-ordinator for seven weeks now and can honestly say I think I have found my vocation in life. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remember I am not dreaming and that what I now do is actually a well paid job (and I pay tax).
I often said in rehab I would feel like I had achieved one of my biggest goals when I got up on a cold wet morning and HAD to go to work. This might sound strange but I had never done that before. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, always on my terms.
This attitude and lifestyle positively reinforced 25 years of addiction and I enjoyed a lot of it. Partying and getting smashed was my job and hobby and I was very good at it – to stop me getting bored I became a poly drug user.
It was therefore essential that my recovery journey was at least as exciting and stimulating as my drug journey – or why stop? I was scared of becoming a boring hermit with no friends.
I embraced the T.C ethos and started to think about things differently. What suprised me was this new thinking was more helpful, it also required less effort than my problematic behaviour – the outcomes were positive, I learned from people I respected because of what they did – not because of who they were.
I left rehab in January and added SMART to my recovery journey. The logic really appealed to my way of thinking. I discovered I had some brain cells left and that they still worked – so I embraced education and discovered the joys of reflective learning – improving the good stuff I did and learning from the not so good.
So far that “Monday morning feeling” hasn’t happened – I love going to work – but I will let you know if it does.
Last week I went to London twice and met some inspirational people in the recovery movement, went to Rotherham to help set up some Smart meetings at Lifeline, delivered training to our newly recruited mentors, booked several volunteers on to accredited training courses, wrote an article about my new role for the Sheffield DAAT newsletter, went to Old Trafford and saw my team get beat by Villa (a new experience sober), pruned some trees (also sober), got breathalysed ( a new experience sober), went to an Ethiopian restaraunt for our works xmas party (sober) and co-facilitated 2 smart meetings.
This week I am going to sign up for a level 4 course so I can improve and develop my training ambitions and do some more goal setting for the coming year.
Instead of giving up something for the new year – why not try some new things!
There is a lot to be said for this “Recovery Journey”!
Hello Carl
It is great to share your journey of recovery and wow you pay tax so you may contribute to my pension if I retire before you (laughs)
I am interested in the SMART programme as it sounds as it could support many areas of life and not just the addiction field.
You wrote about your need for your recovery to be as exciting and stimulating as your drug journey and that is one thing I remember about my son – he was always busy – always needing to go or do something and when he started to recover he seemed at times lost.
I wish you well with your journey and look forward to walking it (via the blog) with you.
Take care of yourself
Love and hugs Sue x
Susan thanks for your kind words – I often talk about my drug and alcohol use as being like a full time job and my hobby. I spent nearly all my time and energy devoted to getting both – my idea of a boring recovery was never really an option – my logic for that was if recovery didnt replace the fairly exciting hobby – why change, how could I.
I have found my new vocation in life both rewarding and stimulating – I have replaced one buzz that caused a lot of problems with a new healthy buzz.
You are right about SMART it gave me tools that I use in my job and social life like problem solving and a healthy life style balance.
I hope Wiredin gives you some feelings of inner peace and I wish you well.
Xx.
