My first Graduation

In my last Blog, I pointed out that I was due to visit the LEAP project in Edinburgh. I had a great day! The patients and staff are such a nice group of people.

The highlight of this visit was attending a Graduation ceremony. I know a good number of people who are recovering or have recovered from serious substance use problems. I have visited a fair number of treatment agencies. But this was my first Graduation.

What made it even more special was that I already knew the one person who was graduating that afternoon, Tony. He is such a great guy.

An added bonus was to meet Jonathan Chick, a psychiatrist and researcher I have greatly respected over the years. First time I have met Jonathan and I found him to be a very pleasant and humble person. It was an honour to meet him.

Jonathan was attending because he was presenting Tony with his certificate. He had been involved in referring Tony to LEAP.

The Graduation was very special and I have to confess that I had tears in my eyes on several occasions. Upon looking over at Jonathan from time to time, I felt that he was also humbled by the experience.

The Graduation involved speeches by LEAP Director Dr. David McCartney, Head of Treatment Eddy Conroy, Jonathan and Tony himself.

Patients and other people at the Graduation had the opportunity to say a few words about Tony. It was all very moving and – as you will see below – sometimes light-hearted.

We had tea and cakes at the end and I met Tony’s boss. I was thrilled to hear her say that she and her colleagues would give Tony all the support they could when he returned to work.

Tony had originally intended to take early retirement, but his workplace had decided not to initiate the request. This was great as Tony now wants to return to work.

I was so taken by Eddy’s speech for Tony that I asked him if I could include it in one of my blogs – please see below.

I was also particularly taken by two other matters. Firstly, Tony kindly thanking me (and therefore the whole community) for getting the ‘message’ out there around the world. He emphasised how important it was so ultimately more people could find recovery. I had a lump in my throat.

Secondly, Jonathan Chick pointed out how uplifting it was as a medical worker to see someone recover from a serious substance use problem. He emphasised the opportunity that someone like him had in working in this aspect of health to see on multiple occasions such profound changes in human behaviour.

He compared the situation with other serious illnesses such as cancers and heart disease. It was uplifting to hear someone working in the field talking in such positive terms, rather than in the negative terms one so often hears (e.g. addicts never get better).

So here is Eddy’s speech:

“When I assessed Tony he informed me that he was not a man of many words… and that he found it difficult to talk.

He then sat, head down, shaking it back and forth, and repeatedly telling me… ‘if you had seen what I’ve seen… if you had heard what I’ve heard… if you had experienced my neighbours…’

… and this went on and on.

I started to wonder if I would ever be able to get the information from him that I needed.

Tony was tearful… full of guilt and shame and not able to make eye contact

An intelligent man who had sparkled, been active and worked most of his life, saving lives. His life had changed drastically. The change was insidious and gradual!

As he shook his head, still wondering how such a change could have happened, I thought, ‘Here is another human being who is powerless over his addiction and whose life has become unmanageable.’

Tony could not believe his new behaviour, the lack of movement, and the living out of a chair (to the degree that he developed a DVT in his leg).

The arguing with himself over TV characters and programmes, the anger at the universe in general because it just not seem to work the way Tony wanted.

His rate of alcohol intake, waking up from oblivion only to pick up the wine bottle by his side. ‘A nice little Chianti,’ he told me.

A hopeless predicament, forced into early retirement because his life had become far too unmanageable to go to work. I knew that if treatment did not work for Tony, he would not live to see much of his retirement.

Thank goodness his doctor recognised what was wrong with Tony and was aware that something could be done to help him

Tony came into treatment and felt sorry for his peers. He wanted to leave as he felt his case was not that important.

He was wary of the group and unable to assert himself, tending to isolate.

Gradually, he took an interest in his peers and they got to know him.

And Tony as it turned out is a dark horse… an original 60’s child and hippy, playing guitar in a ‘pop’ band during his university days.

He picked up a guitar at LEAP and was immediately revered by his peers as a ‘guitar guru’.

Tony’s caring and mature attitude has played a big part in supporting the community.

He started sharing in Group and relating more and more to his peers.

A turning point was his six-week review when I asked him what the most significant thing that has happened to him at LEAP.

He looked me in the eye and said, ‘The awareness that it is not the world, it is not the neighbours, it is not my job that causes me to use alcohol, but the way I respond to events.’

I realised Tony was in recovery.

Tony was chosen by staff to be Deputy Group Leader. This was directly in conflict with Tony’s main ‘pathology’… lack of assertiveness and fear of confrontation.

He initially refused the position, then thought about it and came to me and stated that he knew he was refusing it through fear, and that he thought it would be good to try and overcome this fear by taking the position of Deputy Leader.

I think we all agree he has done a great job with a difficult community.

Tony’s great friend Mike must be mentioned.

The power of alcoholism is that even if you have the very best of support around you, alcoholism still wins out in the end.

However Mike and Tony’s other buddies have basically refurbished his flat whilst he has been in treatment, so that Tony has a comfortable new home in which to continue his recovery journey.

What is Tony all about from my point of view. He is such a special, caring, colourful, talented, and mischievous person.

I hope I look as good at his age and have a wicked sense of humour like Tony.

To sum up, when I looked at Tony at assessment, the limit of his life choices was early retirement and he was desperate for this to be made official.

Now he cannot imagine that this was what he wanted and feels he can still put a lot back into society,

Tony is a true gentleman. Gillian doesn’t want him to leave, I don’t want him to leave.

We have treasured meeting and working with him. Thank you!”

And thank you everyone at LEAP for making me feel so welcome.

Best of luck, Tony. Please keep in touch with us.