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I went to the job centre yesterday and signed off, I had been claiming I.B. [Incapacity Benefit – ed] for more than 5 years. It was a wonderful feeling and another goal I have achieved that I thought would take me at least another 12 months.
I left rehab in January and had set myself many goals, some short-term others long-term. They included staying abstinent and trying to enjoy my recovery, getting some qualifications, getting Smart Recovery meetings running in Sheffield, and preparing myself to become a participating and active member of society.
Many of my goals were and are very personal to me and my family. If I listed them all I would be late for work on my second day. My goals were and still are regularly reviewed and updated.
I am in the middle of completing my course work for Drugs Awareness, Relapse Prevention and Advice, Information & Guidance, all level 3. I have been stimulated and inspired by learning and using my now active brain for positve outcomes, instead of manipulation and deceit (I have got a masters degree in these subjects and many others).
Smart Recovery meetings take place 3 times a week in Sheffield and last month over 30 people attended at least two meetings. I can’t calculate how much this has helped my recovery but it is probably the biggest single influence (apart from myself) that has helped me to enjoy my new life.
On a personal level, I feel like I am now someone who my family are proud of, I am so pleased to see this and that is priceless.
I started work yesterday as the Volunteer Coordinator at S.A.A.S. and feel priviledged to be able to help improve the services we offer. I have a new, very long list of goals which I will review, update and tick off as they are reached.
My new goals for the next 12 months include enjoying my recovery, making my family and myself proud of my achievements, buying a car, going on holiday (probably to India), expanding Smart Recovery in Sheffield and the North of England.
Helping the Volunteers I work with to achieve their goals, getting back to Manchester more often to spend time with my family, and going to the Theatre of Dreams to watch my team retain the title (again) and hopefully a trip to the Champions League Final.
Why have I written this blog ?
a) because I am proud of my achievements and wish to thank all the people who have inspired and helped me. You know who you are!
b) to hopefully inspire one person who might read this and think, “If he can do it so can I”. Believe me, I was completely immersed in a drink and drug fuelled life of crime, drugs and destructive behaviour. So you really can do it.
It won’t be easy but then again it isn’t easy living the way I used to.
I love waking up in the morning now. I feel alive, happy and positive – and not depressed, ill, worried and anxious.
GO FOR IT. RECOVERY IS THE FUTURE !!!!
Wonderful stuff, so inspiring. You should feel really proud of yourself Carl.
But make sure you look after you, taking time out for yourself from your busy life. Mind you, you’ve certainly got the right sort of personal stuff in your goals (not so sure about the football stuff though, being an Arsenal fan!).
Good luck with the new job… and keep blogging when you can.
Thank you so much for all you have done here. My very best to you.
Carl, this is incredibly powerful and inspiring to me. I am really feeling the energy, passion and achievement in your words.
Like you I thrill to see other people finding recovery and having their lives turned around. I get to see it at work and also in mutual aid groups and like you have set goals which in my active addiction would just have been laughable.
Getting to understand myself and my behaviours, celebrating recovery and life and putting something back in (helping to start meetings, supporting the newcomer, sharing my story with others, doing service) are all part of the process that have added richness to my life and i identify with your experience.
I think you should be proud. You deserve to be.
David
Thanks for your comments, as always I take on advice from people I respect and in particular the healthy lifestyle balance bit.
I did not say above that my job is only 22 hrs a week, which allows me
to continue facilitating Smart meetings as a volunteer, I have also started playing badminton with 2 colleagues and go to the gym with a couple of friends, I am also still working as a tree surgeon 1 day a week.
I eat well although some of my friends would disagree (as I am vegeterian) and I drink plenty of water and too much coffee. I am in the decision making part of stopping smoking (I have several irrational thoughts on the subject but I challenge them and it is a work in progress).
Peapod
as always your comments are well received and the richness in your life you talk about is for me one of the many positive things that recovery brings to any one who puts the effort in and takes it seriously.
Carl,
Really great hearing all that is going on. I am looking forward to meeting you in the not-too-distant future.
Hey Carl,
Huge congratulations from the uchooseit posse! There’s a lot to be said for this recovery lark isn’t there? But make sure you keep it quiet mate – or before you know it everyone will be doing it!.
Hope to see you soon – love and solidarity
Michaela xx
Brilliant Carl!
Carl, I have just read your story, I am sorry I have been caught up in my own I have only just read yours, well done, I dont know you but am so proud of you excellent.
My sons passing has in a wierd and wonderful way also brought blessings, I sleep at night now because I dont have to cry all night wondering where he is and is he safe.
So well done, you guys inspire the rest of us so much, my teacher training is nothing to what you and the others like you have achieved, I feel honoured and blessed to have spoken with you.
love
ann marie
