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What, I’ve been thinking, in the style of a low end magazine, are the five most important things that got my recovery going and helped sustain it? Here they are:
1. Asking for help
2. Becoming substance free
3. Treatment
4. Mutual aid (AA/NA/CA)
5. Supporting others
1. Asking for help
This was something I was never able to do in my drinking and using days. A mixture of pride, arrogance, fear and a dreadful lack of insight that I needed help were at the root of not reaching out. In fact I didn’t get the help I needed at the beginning, but things really did move forward when in crisis, I spoke with someone else from my line of work who had been where I was but wasn’t there anymore. He told me what had worked for him and, by gum, it worked for me too.
2. Becoming substance free
I had two goes at recovery. Come to think of it, I had a thousand goes at it. I decided every day for years that I wasn’t going to drink that day, but failed every time. It reminds me of Mark Twain and smoking. He claimed quitting smoking was easy. He’d done it hundreds of times.
I did have two goes in the sense of treatment shots. One focused entirely on one substance (alcohol) and no attention was paid by me or my CPN or my psychiatrist to the other substances which took its place. Nor to the person behind the substances really. I had no chance until I became abstinent, which by the time I got to the end of my using was exactly what I wanted. Only then did the denial, the poor judgement and the hopelessness lift.
3. Treatment
Treatment for me was in a residential setting where the emphasis was on learning how to manage my addiction through changing my thinking, my attitudes and my behaviours. The staff were in recovery and were passionate about it. Their passion was infectious. It was an incredibly challenging few months, but it turned my life around and fit me like a glove.
When I went back to the shrink who’d been looking after me before I went to residential treatment, he wanted to put me on antabuse, campral and naltrexone and restart my antidepressants. This was despite my feeling great, with sustained abstinence and connected to my support systems. I declined.
4. Mutual aid
From treatment we were connected up to the anonymous fellowships. We went to meetings several nights a week. That first time, as I sat in an NA meeting, I was gobsmacked. Addicts in recovery, CLEAN addicts meeting together and talking sense. Why on earth did I not know about this before? Being part of a recovery community and working through the twelve step programme have enriched my life and helped sustain my recovery. My Sponsor is a wonderful person who continues to support me years down the line.
There are many routes to recovery, but this one was right for me. I found a power greater than myself and that is something that blows me away. I often wonder how it would have been if my psychiatrist a couple of years before had had something good to say about AA rather than telling me it would do no good.
5. Supporting others
Helping and supporting others is a principle of my programme, but it goes beyond that; it is really a principle of recovery. I’m at the stage I’m at in my recovery because someone passed on the recovery message to me and I feel I want to do the same for others. I need to watch this as I have the compulsive helping gene, but as long as I keep my boundaries and don’t tell people how to do their recoveries this helps my recovery.
One of the brilliant things about Wired In is hearing how other people have made the journey. I’m interested to hear other community members’ top five supporting ‘things’ in your recoveries.
Now this is a good one. Hope lots of people give their top five as it will be fascinating – and helpful.
Am off to walk dog an work out mine. Watch this space….
Pucker blog for many to digest and reflect where their recovery came from. Hope you have pucker feed back on this one.
Superb blog PeaPod
Ironic the similarity in the steps and CBT, these similararities are what should unite us all in recovery, lets avoid the diferencies that can divide us and lead to confrontation in the philosophy of recovery, im going to add your five things to my four tools acceptance, humility, contemplation and self honesty if thats good with you.
I liked this blog…. my 5 things were:
1. Recognising i had a problem
2. Trying to find out where to get help
3. Allowing myself to ask for help
4. Making the decision to quit and quitting
5. Accept the support i found to carry the decision through
That was hard putting it down into just 5…. thanks for writing this blog
This is really useful peapod, I suspect you will find a lot of people with a similar experience. But in terms of what initiated and then supported my recovery, mine follow a different pathway. Here goes:
1. Maturity/Sense of responsibility.
I spent a day in a police cell contemplating where I was going with my life. At the age of 27 I felt that it was make or break, from that moment on I had made the decision that I was to take responsibility for my actions. I believe that was the day my recovery began
2. The support of my family
My families rection to me losing my job and to my recent conviction was more than I could have asked for, and certainly more than I deserved. If they would have disowned me or guilt tripped me at this stage I may well have taken a different route.
3. Emphatic listening
During the next six months I tried to figure out who I was and where I was going. Having someone to listen and understand was very important
4. Social acceptance.
After a period of self imposed exile, I started to return to more social settings. This can be particularly difficult for me but I found an environment in which I was accepted
5. Self acceptance and pride.
1-4 Helped me in to recovery, and supported me through the early stages, but there is no doubt that this one is the key. Learning to accept my short-comings but instead focus on my strengths, and start to put my strengths to good use has ultimately maintained my recovery. As I believe it will do for years to come.
I enjoyed sharing that
Thanks
Matt
God that dog takes some walking! My five:
1. Detox
For getting the alcohol out of my system and for giving me 8 days which busted some of my most deeply held mythical beliefs i.e. I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t drink, I will go mad if I don’t drink, I will die of fear if I don’t drink
2. My cats
In the early days of recovery these were all I had and their presence made a huge difference. When I couldn’t be around people or even go out they brought life into my home. They made me feel loved and needed
3. Managing Anxiety
Getting CBT and finally getting a medication combination that works for me was massive. When I first got sober the anxiety attacks were so bad I almost threw in the towel. Living a life not dominated by fear has been utterly liberating
4. Having a home
Repossession during my first months sober made it hard as I had no idea where I was going to live. My mother offered me a home but I knew that being around people who drink would not be good for me. I was helped (thank God) to get a housing association flat and this is where I feel my real recovery began – as opposed to just not drinking
5. uchooseit/Wired In
Having a purpose has been hugely important. Being around and working with and for people in recovery has kept the fire burning. Learning again – after years of being shut down – has been stimulating. I feel very privileged to know and/or communicate with such magnificent people every day
And the way my puppy Sprocket runs….
Hi guys.
It’s great to hear all of your resources that got you to your recovery- I just love the fact we all so diverse as humans!
I’m a trainer and I’m developing a practical set of tools to offer people ready to take the decision into recovery, and are perhaps scared or unsure.
Your lists have been interesting for me. I notice a thread of: acceptance of self & responsibilty for action, a sense of worth, ability to effect my outcomes, and a purpose in life following abstinence? Am I getting there?
If anyone feels able to help me- what internal resources, if you could have had them immediately, would have made the process feel better/ go easier/ quicker?
Your answers will be gratefully recieved and will influence the resource toolkit I am developing, so as many people as possible can benefit of the rewards you already have experienced.
Many Thanks
Alan
1. Acceptance
2. Change
3. It’s all in my own hands
4.There is no one to blame
5. Have the courage and confidence to follow my instincts and make positive decisions about how I want to live my life
And give it all time, it’s a journey of discovery
in the begining my top 5 would have been
1. openmind
2. honesty with myself
3.learning to forgive
4.perseverance
5. and finally trusting the people and the proccess to do its work.
