Weekly round up and a fond farewell to blog of the week, 21st February 2010

Time, it’s a funny old thing isn’t it? Not funny ha ha but funny weird. Maybe it is sitting down to the same task at roughly the same time each week (an Editor’s version of Groundhog Day) that makes me more conscious of the minutes, hours and days passing. At the moment time is on fast forward for me, and the gaps between weekly round ups have shrunk to a couple of blinks. The exception to this is when waiting for a bus when time is less Lynford Christie-ess and more like a snail on mogadon. Especially if it’s cold.

But I have been struck this week (not literally) by how different time can be at different stages and places in your life.

For Susan time was the enemy this week. From Valentines Day, missing you to Monday night time not only meant having to deal with the reality of a funeral and what that involves, but with the ravages of time on her son’s body. Despite Susan’s best efforts to stop the clock, Tuesday became Wednesday and it was time to leave.

Then the funeral was over and it was Thursday, the day after. I don’t know about you but I found it hard to know what to do in the face of such pain and courage. A light at the end of the tunnel was that the community was, and will be here, when Susan needs it and I feel incredibly proud to be part of such a supportive group of people. Thank you all for all your comments and your messages.

I have to be honest and say that I can find it hard to know what to say in response to blogs about loss and bereavement. Michaela lost for words – unbelievable but true! I am sure that I can’t be the only one to stare at the screen, walk around a bit, change TV channels, write and delete, write and delete, put the kettle on, write and delete. And still feel I have written something utterly crap when I send it off.

So I would really like to thank both Elizabeth and Ian for giving some advice which was incredibly helpful. Both of them, and Ann Marie, are great examples of how tragedy can be turned into something positive and I am sure that this gives hope to others in similar situations. And time? As Elizabeth says, “Time they say heals but the passing of years is not a real healer; it does however get you used to the fact that your loved one has left you forever and you have to live with that cruel fact.”

I hope we have done our best as a community this week to show what we are all about and I really think we have. There are next steps and a future and Wired In needs to be a part of that. This could be supporting those who have lost loved ones on their own recovery journey or making sure that messages get out there beyond Wired In as David did. Devoting Daily Dose “to people who have lost loved ones to drugs and alcohol, the people we have lost, and to all those people who are helping families, friends and carers of those people affected by substance use problems” and by answering Verve’s call to support those other sons and daughters that are still with us.

And then there are moments when we don’t just want time to stand still, but to go backwards. To have a chance to do all the things we should have done. Paul would ring Michael back, Linda’s father would not have died alone. But we can’t and maybe, in time, we will find as Charlie says, “The worst day of my life at the time tuned out to be the best day of my life and each day now is a gift to be grateful for.” I hope so.

And recovery, recovery takes time. This may not be good news for those of us who suffer from ‘Iwantnowism’ and have been known to shout at the microwave to hurry up and get on with it. Now I know patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. We feel able to say, with a reasonable amount of certainty, to Claire that her freaky dreams will go and to Mark that he will get used to his new life – just give it time.

But when it comes to Wired In there is patience and there is, well, a feeling that for some reason you have not been invited to the party. As PeaPod notes, there is a riddle afoot (well he doesn’t say afoot, I added that bit) and despite shouting “Rumplestiltskin” at the top of my voice nothing much seems to happen.

What is odd is that communities are so important – and a virtual community like Wired In is no less real for being on-line. In fact I believe its very ‘virtualness’ has a lot of positives. What should work in the real world doesn’t always quite gel, see GuyinGHo’s blog snowbound. I won’t bang on about the many and varied virtues of our community as we all know what they are. Except to say that even a packet of liquorice allsorts looks dull next to us. Perhaps we should employ the Glee approach and add a few show tunes….

From riddles to questions. Scott wants to know whether people ultimately recover and given that NDTMS/TOP are, well, not that good really, starts an interesting debate on what and how to measure in order to judge recovery outcomes. Why we can’t just use a ruler I don’t know. Wynford asks why, when it comes to those in the public eye, alcohol misuse is ‘just a bit of fun’.

Is it,or isn’t it a choice? Addiction I mean. Yes, it’s back, that eternal chestnut. Peter thinks it is very important that it is, some agree, others disagree. In order to resolve this conundrum, and in recognition of the current economic meltdown, I suggest redeploying ‘a’ and ‘choice’ to more needy sentences. Thus leaving the question, “Is addiction?”. To which the answer is “Yes”. Simples.

Light bulbs and miracles. These are happening all over the shop it seems. Grace’s filaments start glowing at the thought of a recovery education pack while Kerry’s moment of illumination shines a light on the possibilities of social enterprises. Martin’s wine turns to water with the admissions of the Pope and they are walking on the wet stuff down in Ollie’s neck of the woods. And, again according to Ollie, miracles happen in the NHS. Now either the water has reverted back to wine or some pretty special things are happening in Wirral.

Martin experiences a minor miracle with a service working with and for the service user. And vents a bit of frustration as to the state of the NTAtion. And Jason shows just what people in recovery can acheive when given the opportunity.

And our metaphors and analogies have scented Spring in the air and are blooming throughout Wired In. Speaking of this, have you noticed that Gordon et al have blatantly stolen ‘Road to Recovery?’. Heard Peter Mandelson talking about this today and almost fell off my chair. Then I realised he was on about the economy, yawn!

Last week the round up was focused on all things road-like and Chris adds to the genre by pitting man against machine. His conclusion is that it is better to be a car (unless perhaps it is a Skoda, or a Toyota!). Tony proves you can’t make an omelette without cracking eggs (or bad yolks) and warns us of the perils of double humped back bridges.

Time, the right time? Is there such a thing? Well it feels that it might be it for the addiction field to move out of its own little solar system into the galaxy that is recovery. We have seen this change on Wired In. While addiction remains a central issue, we are seeing it in the context of wider issues like mental health and childhood sexual abuse. So now is the right time to look wider and think wider. As jk notes, change is happening across all health fields and the common link is recovery and wellbeing. A point echoed by Verve who says, “We need to keep up our courage, and overcome the isolation and conflicts between ourselves and other disadvantaged groups in society so we can trust each other and work together.”

Linda soldiers on through the ups and downs of life, Andrew takes a jump into the unknown and Matthew is determined to return the black dog to its rightful owner. Tony’s picture reveals its hidden meanings and Chris is undertaking intervention interactions.

And now for the personal ads:
Carl seeks sizzle for his appearance at the SMART recovery conference
Kev is looking for friendly service user forums to learn from
Geph is seeking peer led recovery groups in Shropshire
and the UK Recovery Walk is still desperately seeking an individual to help with financial management. There will be more on the UK Recovery Walk 2010 next week.

Congratulations to Wynford Ellis Owen for being selected to receive Winston Churchill Memorial Trust Fellowship. This will enable him to visit a number of new recovery community centres in the US and we look forward to hearing about his experiences.

Now the time has come for the ta da da da dada da’s to fall silent, the blog of the week is following Portsmouth FC into the annals of history. Why oh why – I hear you shout? Well because of dodgy tax returns. Oh, you mean blog of the week. Well, I have found it harder and harder to put some blogs above others as they are all so good. The fact that the numbers of blogs has increased hugely is also an (X) factor as is the breadth of subjects covered.

So constant reader, over to you. Do we want an award system? And if so what? There you are, deftly shoved off my to do list and on to yours. Multi-skilled job this editing lark. See you next week.

Onwards and upwards

Michaela