Our Sponsors are an important foundation of our online community. Please visit their websites.
Our Associate Sponsors provide valuable support to our community and help build 'The Wall'.
Our partners help move the Wired In agenda forward.
Join our community, create your own profile page, and communicate about what matters to you.
All of you I miss. The warmth of your embrace, the way you made me laugh, how you made me feel. Powerful, loved, excited, alive, superior. How you made me unable to feel, devoid of emotion, carefree. So complete, so wanted, so much a part of something special, so subversive, so unique.
How I miss you. I loved you and put you first, you were all that mattered, all that made sense in this world. You saved me from this world, you fed my mind and taught me that I mattered and that no-one else did. You put me first and I put you first. We gave each other strength. Together we went far, I thought we would never part, united for life until death would divide us. I thought we both knew this.
Then even you betrayed me, enslaved me, victimised me. You let me down and turned on me, even then I gave you chance after chance. I trusted you again, time after time. Yet you chose to continue to abuse me, you let me down so many times and I still loved you. I risked my life to have you there in my life with me.
I’d forsaken my family, my wealth, my health for you. That was the depth of my love for you. I did not want life without you, yet you betrayed me to my near destruction. I’d have died for you, yet you weren’t even happy with that. You preferred to torment me, to destroy my morals and beliefs.
Unwilling to let me go I had to make a painful decision, to let you go, to cite you for divorce. So I served you with a decree nisi in December 2008. Now here’s the decree absolute – March 2010.
Yet the truth is I’ll always miss you, for your the longest and deepest relationship I’ve ever had, my one true love: drugs.
Is it the done thing to wish someone a Happy Divorce?
And congratulations on a new and much longer lasting relationship, one that really loves you, Recovery 4 Tony, 4ever, 2gether.
Dear Tony,
This is powerful stuff indeed, I am deeply moved. Just about says it all. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
It sounds like you have ended up with a good settlement Tony.
Love is blind.
Thank goodness you had the strength to see Tony.
My wish for you is that many reciprocal ‘loves’ will come into your life that will gently nudge your love for your ‘ex’ way into oblivion.
By the way she was never right for you anyway. No one ever really liked her!
Hi Tony,
Powerful stuff, I have often wondered when writing about our drug of choice like that, are we really talking about another part of ourselves who we deny, and the illusion is giving the drug a human form, so that we can apply the invisible sorrow and isolation to something we can touch, see and smell, because how can we explain the pain in any other way. (hmmm I think I need to give that more thought).
Cheers for your insight Tony.
Love the way this is wrote Tony!
Thank you for the Share.. you have explained it in a way that non addicts can understand :)
Wonderful stuff Tony. I was just at a treatment facility where they wrote letters to their addictions. Very powerful.
