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I am 25 years old, and since I was fifteen drinking has been an issue. For many years I would go out with my friends as the pressure and the culture in Britain encourages us to. I would always end up the most drunk, doing the most horrendous things for example passing out or being extremely promiscuous.
These sorts of incidents carried on for about five years and would occur every week. And so would the despair and hopelessness that would overwhelm me when I had finished drinking. Every weekend I would devalue my life, so much that I no longer wanted to be around. I also turned into a horrendous liar.
Then when I reached 20-ish I was brought home by the police, and this to me was enough of a wake up call. The next day I booked myself into drink counselling.
I was not nervous. For the first time it felt like I would be doing some good. Counselling is hard, it really makes you search yourself, but it really helped me. We came to the conclusion that rather than having a drink issue I used drink as a coping mechanism to endure the anxiety and panic that I suffer from. So rather than treat a drink problem it was treating the anxiety issues.
Counselling worked really well, but unfortunately I have never been able to let go of the drink. I really try. I’m able to drink weaker drinks now and also able to only have a few. But I still sometimes get myself in a state.
Personally I’m doing well. I have nearly finished a nursing degree and I’m getting married. But still the drinking stains linger and occasionally push their way forward. I’m hoping in time I can say that I haven’t done anything silly in ages and I’m fine. When people say about a person, “Oh they only have a few drinks” I would give anything for that to be about me. And more and more now it is.
I wish there was more advice around for people with anxiety to explain about drinking and the fact it can be terrible to drink with anxiety.
Thought of the day, why do some of us go through stages of such anxiety that we turn to drink to lift us up, what makes us different to those who have confidence!
I keep telling myself nothing is the answer, i am no different to people with confidence, i just need to work harder on mine!!!
A very warm welcome to Wired In and a great blog.
As a fellow anxiety sufferer I think that you are right that there could be much more information about anxiety and alcohol – a bad relationship if ever there was one.
But I also think that there is a lack of information about anxiety generally. I found it really hard to get support and this definitely exacerbated my drinking.
Welcome to wired-in jojo,
Anxiety, lack of confidence, lack of believe, poor social communication skills are all things that fed my addiction.
In my recovery these things have become less of an issue, but I think this has a lot to do with me accepting that I could only ever be myself. I could never be the most outgoing man in the world, but I’m fine with the way I am now and that gives me a confidence that I have never known before.
So perhaps it’s not a case of needing to work too hard on trying to be confident, but rather to reach a state of acceptance.
I hope that makes sense
Matt
Anxiety, depression, low self esteem, shyness, poor relationship skills all led me to drink. Then the drink wanted another drink. Then the drink took me. This led to shame, guilt, paranoia, no self esteem, no quality of life. Then I sought support and got it. I did a bit of confidence building and some CBT etc etc….six months down the line I feel great, I feel hopeful. Why did it take so much to get this far…..I just got sick of feeding into my negativity. I wanted to know me.
Don’t let this happen to you. You sound like you’ve got a lot going for you with your degree and you wedding.
I listen to a healing CD regurlarly to reinforce the positive things I’ve learned. It’s called ‘A Time For Healing’ by Anthony Strano. It say’s it’s a guided meditation but I listen to it while on the computer, doing the washing up or sometimes in bed before I sleep. (copyright ; Brahma Kumaris)
Welcome, and thank you for sharing your story,
We all have the same thing in common as you can see from other comments on your blogg.
People use drink to get to sleep at night, people use drink to calm their nerves/anxieties, people drown their sorrows, but when habit creates a way of life, the effects can be devasting for all involved.
Anxiety = Drinking = Anxiety = Drinking = Vicious circle
Its very hard being young like yourself and having a problem with drink, its socially acceptable, everybody drinks where-ever you may go socially.
I had to think differently and rise above these thoughts, it sounds like you are not enjoying drinking for the worry of where it will take you.
Don’t let drink decide, You can rise above it and what a gift and blessing you have for being aware and sharing this on wired in.
light and healing
Adam
Hi everyone,
thankyou for your comments,yes i do believe that maybe yes it is not about gaining confidence but excepting who you are, as i acheive things in my life i am more able to do this, and i have learnt to understand my brain and the way it works, i have been lucky, and now i can even use the way i have felt to my advantage to relate to the anxieties my patients must feel, so i can draw positive out of having anxiety.
I hope that maybe sites like this can draw attention to the needs of people with anxiety, i wish that this country soon stops focasing on drinking but on the other hand everything is so expensive it is the cheapest social thing to do,it is a real vicious circle.
I started to really learn about the mind when i took a psychology a level, if only schools could do a lesson where the children learnt about mental health issues, this could pre warn them before they hit drinking age.
