Off line

I’m changing internet provider, so I’m off line from tomorrow until the 31st of March. So this is my last blog for a while.

I’ve been reading some REBT stuff and Albert Ellis stuff that has been kindly signposted to me by Matthew. Very interesting and it all makes sense to me, I’d advise a look at it for anyone. as it enhances our understanding of ourselves. Acceptance of what and who we are is paramount, accepting ourselves, our flaws and all.

Irrational beliefs, we all have them. Sometimes they’re what drives us to strive for more, yet usually they’re destructive. Our emotional response to any given situation, how we react to the conditions that arise. All good common sense stuff that has a value to everyone.

I was thinking of how to measure recovery and, with a degree of prejudice, decided that people must be at a similar stage to myself to be in recovery. If they were taking medication, then they were only in a period of stability, almost believing they are not as good as me, they have a long way to go.

Then I thought of people in abstinence. Total abstinence. And that put them above me, as I still choose to drink socially. I couldn’t have that, so I initially used the legality argument to allow me to drink. Yet legality has never been a concern for me, so this argument wouldn’t wash.

I quickly grounded my arrogance and conceited attitude, knowing how dangerous these behaviours are to me. To humbly realise, who am I to measure anyone else’s recovery? I can measure my own recovery, for my recovery is what I believe it to be. But no one has a right to measure and quantify when recovery is actually attained, and recovery is only measurable by the individual concerned.

I have to admit until recently I saw an addict who was able to attain stability as a bad addict. A failure at even being an addict. My belief in addiction was that stability contravenes what addiction is, that it’s uncontrollable and stability is an impossibility. Truth is, it was an impossible state for me to achieve. All this shows is what a weak, selfish and greedy addict I was.

Finally, who is not in recovery at some stage in their lives? Life is often an uncomfortable journey and a rocky road to travel. So we all stumble and get hurt. We all need to recover at sometime or other.