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I had a serious heroin addiction for three years and I was also involved in dealing on a large scale. Me and my cousin were raided by armed police, they didn’t find anything, but this was enough for me to realise the error of my ways and get off drugs once and for all.
I went to a Christian rehab for four months, where I had to give up smoking, tv, music – basically everything. I also had to go to church three times a week an average of three hours at a time. I also did this cold turkey as they didn’t allow any form of treatment.
You had to work through the withdrawals and, as bad as it seemed at the time, it really did work.
I am in no way religious so I just had to grit my teeth and bear it, but it was worth it cause my life has changed for ever. I met the love of my life and I am now engaged to be married next October.
I do not crave drugs anymore, but occasionally I still get bad spells of depression that I dont understand and can’t explain to my girlfriend.
Hi Benx,
Firstly,congratulations on your immense journey so far-that is genuine bravery.You’ll probably know,or hear,the old saying“He that conquers himself is greater than he who conquers a city”.
It took me 5+ years “sober” in AA to admit that depression was crucifying me.I didn’t think hat I could say it as it would be somehow letting the team down,would ungrateful etc,etc. Eventualy,I had to share it. As older hands will guess someone smiled,I could have f—in strangled them,but,the reason they smiled of course was that they had been through exactly the same turmoil some years before!!
For me, I learned that depression was/is a separate illness and needed separate treatment. I started on the road to seek that help. I was told that God(like you I am not “religious”) gave us the 12 steps,but,he also gave us doctors,psyciatrists etc. A form of humility was to admit that this was something, like alcoholism, I couldn’t do on my own.
I’m not going to suggest that all mental health professionals are wonderful,some I met have more unaddressed “issues” than the rest of us and are frankly more dangerous to their patients than anything else. I did however meet an amazing psychologist who, just like being shown the steps by AA and my sponsor showed me a way out. It involved medication and went against my arrogant belief that that was somehow “covering up”,“whimping out” etc. I leraned that if I couldn’t 12 step out of a broken leg,why did I think I could 12 step out of an illness like depression? It has been a long road and it still has its twists,but,I earned that I had used the drug alcohol to fight depression fo twenty + years,so,with that out the equation,of course the depression returned,or rather I actually felt it this time.
When you’re ready,the help will be there. It was one of the best moves I have made in recovery and I have met many,many folk in the same position.
I wrote a bit aout it on my page here as “The Dark Illness of Perception”-I hope that,if you choose to have a look at it,it helps a bit.
Yours aye,
Alan
hi benx
wasn’t betel in nottingham by any chance was it?
if it was i’m glad it worked for you although it scared the crap outta me and had to fight my way out after 3 days.
whatever it takes hey
well done
m
Treatment or “no treatment” sounds like a horrendous way of getting people to take responsibilty over their desires. I’m not to sure this is the way forward but then again people might just stop on their own rather than go through this.
Good luck for the future anyway.
